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feer the devilman
~untitled #3~

endowed by my creator with the ability to circumvent reason by means of blind faith, I employ these metaphysical blinders to focus only on what I wish to see as the rest of the world flashes by like so many unheeded road signs, my streamlined consciousness cuts through perception like a razor cropping the world of its unwanted gristle until all that remains exists in harmony with my chosen beliefs and I have vanquished all doubts through obfuscation and rhetoric

~untitled #2~

the redness of your lips
stained my cigarette tips
how quickly you lost interest
impatient sighs at my tired jests
with them went all my hopes
of any passionate trystes

~untitled #1~

ensconced in voluptuous idolatry
ravished by digressive idealogy
torn between thought and conformity
a persuasive illusion of unthinkable enormity
culturing bad habits with a passion
rolling up loose cigarettes by the ration
questioning my will to survive
while around me mediocrity thrives
wondering if living fast and dying young
can still be cool in your thirties

~suicide is painless~

the silent bliss of eternity's cold kiss
so subtle in creation, pure poetry by design
cleansing the soul of life's petty prejudice
the ultimate neutralizer, balancing all over time

~city fog~

groping blindly across the pale face of midnight
fading into the ambient air of the city
crawling leisurely along the stained, cracked concrete
enfusing the senses with the noxious scent of sewage and grease
oozing from every open vent, every sweating pore
grasping at the gasping lungs of the overheated and underappreciated

~mummbling minutia~

today's spontaneity
tomorrow's misfortune
next week's catastrophe
all born of emotion
juvenile and thoughtless
my instincts as my guide
I singlehandedly brought us
to the end of our ride

~down with dawn~

a moment in the sun
thoughts of blissful fun
hand in hand we stand
love ours to command
I hate your stupid face
with eyes so full of space
no confidence in your talk
the indifference in your walk
yet truth lies in your thoughts


every haiku
needs seventeen syllables
or else it is rubbish

circumstances preclude all
hope of survival

~as best us~

together we two rent the world asunder
every vacant lie and shady disguise
keeps ourselves from slipping under
trust is an element mined from your eyes
while lust is left simmering fanned by warm sighs


It starts like a bubble deep in my gut just noticable
Beneath the surface and as it grows and swells I feel
Drawn into its emptiness, it's so dark and silent
Within; sometimes pain can feel good
So I pick at it like a cavernous tooth
Tonguing it, blindly exploring every millimeter of sadness
Sometimes you can get lost in pain and as I quietly
Relive all my [past] failures I entertain regret soaked daydreams
Decisions and actions I would've changed
It builds like a volcanoe in my soul
Rising up from the ancient past to spew its emotinal lava
All over the unsuspecting village of my consciousness


Slip-streamed consciousness scores deeply into the night
All of heaven quakes at this unholy blinding light
Mind nor matter, truth nor lie
Just the essence of madness to the universe's eye

~Cosmic Kismet~

God's ghostly gleam
Flickering across my
Cell phone screen
A collage of creativity
and catastrophe
A cacophony of cryptic
Coordinating, collaborating,
convalescing to coincide with
Creation's cosmic kismet

~Eclipsed By My Own Shadow~

Modern day nightmares of endless commerced conformity
Drift through the populous leaving in their wake hollow dreams
Too easily shattered by the fierce gale of reality
Superficiality, a frothing mouthed race for imortality
Anything to take away the pain while our fate's remain unchanged
By our domestic fears, our selfish tears fall to the ground
While life moves on indifferently; when running from real pain
We find smaller crosses to bare if only to distract ourselves
While we sink deeper into despair

~Eelectric Jeezus~

Feed me some more of that eelectric jeezus
I luv the ways its messianic rays
Crack and sizle down my spinal cord
Jerkingly jumped up on jeezus
I spend my days holier than thou
Feverishly feeling that Christian Tao
Band together mankind's brethren
Twitchingly itching for another suckle
Of our saviour's sap

~Emerald Girl~

Oh emerald girl you contain my world
Subsisting, existing beneath those iridescent eyes of pearl
Your galaxy devours me, and then in a moment of your slightest glee
Out of the tiniest bits of stardust you recreate me

Your joy is my sunshine, cast effortlessly
Cross an incomprehensible void to shine down upon
And warm me

Oh emerald girl in the darkness of my world
The passions of your crystalline fire are
All I taste of hope and all I know of desire

So I carry on living in praise of thee
That distant shining glimmer only I can see
Illuminating my nights, shadowing my plights

Oh emerald girl how far is your world?
And how can I make you mine?

~Devotedly Emoting to You~

Look into my eyes and see
All that you despised and be
Hopelessly deprived of glee
Knowing you gave up on me
Never thought of what you lost
Never thought of any cost
Lives may break but words can heal
As long you're on to that next big deal
It's all up to you to see what's real
Like life, like love, or can't you feel?

~Emotional Luminescence~

Semi-liquid emotional luinescence
subtly seeps through the fabric
of my soul

This osmotic transgression fires
my mind with dreamy shadows of you

My morning sun, sweetest one
whose heavenly rays, can barely betray
the lightness of your being
and the strength of your art

The indifference of your character
the indolence of your gaze
ignites the fury of my passion
and brandishes my love


Faith for a nickle, wisdom for a dime
Come on lets get some common sense
Take a number, get in line

~Red-haired Girl on the Subway~

You close your eyes and drift into your own world
The music scintillates down your spine
Tickling, trickling its way down
And your body grooves in time with the rhythm
Slowly egging it on as your face becomes flush

I see you sitting there living in your world
I peer in through the window of space and distance
You in your world, I in mine
Yet for a moment I know how you're feeling
Because I've felt the same

~Grain of Happiness~

Somewhere between my
Mind and oblivion there
Exists a world where
I hold happiness in my palm
And glance at it as if it
Were a grain of sand
A tiny precious jewel carved
By the waves over millions
Of years from some fossilized
Coral or other sea life

~Hard Hearted Howlings of a Hollow-Headed Hooligan~

Intransigent transients a sidewalked human landscape
Sprawling and stumbling as far as the eye can see
Emoting and intoning the same constant bellowing plea
"Got any change?!" As I jingle on by with the remains of my living
Dancing in my pockets
Hell yes I've got change but still it remains
The more change that I give the more you stay the same
And I can't fight this thought rattlin round in my brain
We could all use some change, some real change today
What I mean to say be it a bit risque
Is that our lives run in circles, going nowhere all the way
Yet I've never given up, never called it a day
I've been beaten, I've been bruised
I've been neglected, and I've been used
I've been forgoten, I've been ignored
I've been left rotten, I've been left cored
I've hit rock bottom, I got back up
So you really need some change?
Well who gives a fuck?


Hope itself is that fatal hook
Suffering just the line
By which we're dancing to and fro
Mere puppets of the divine

~I feel you sitting there~

Stripped of my reason
I make my way in the dark
With only emotion as my guide
The walls are a deep melancholy
The floors a pale discomfort
The stars a brilliant
tWiNkLiNg sense of awe
And your eyes the glowing warmth
Of beauty and love


Standing here where you once stood
Ages away and yet so close
I think I know, I think I could
See the life you lead and how you chose
Though time and space keep us apart
We stand astride heart by heart

~Libidinous Emotionality~

A heavy headed heart beats slowly to itself
Shuffling along the empty corridors and dark corners
Of its grey world it mummbles grumblings of lost love,
Empty Silence and vaccuous endings
It trods an ever eroding path of self-pity into the floor

~Love's Pilgrim~

I've travelled from disgust to mitrust
In the distance those towering spires of lust
From there to here all we couldn't say but must
Some how it all feels so self-righteously unjust
This ebb and flow of relations between us
Keeps on eroding my soul, grinding my heart to dust

~Massage My Mind~

Can you fuel the fires of fatalistic decay?
Engulf your mind in the true mankind
Feel the fever, focus on the noise
Drift away in the currents of your own sublime choice
Electromagnetic emotional semi-kinetic luminescence provoking all
Still all this is better than paying attention
Tune in, tune out, -- wax on, wax off

~Misbegotten Son~

Reality, truth's one misbegotten son
Struggles to define itself and
Find itself; its place in this world
From every altered perspective
     He is born anew
Yet perception only offers
     A distorted view
So he feels cheated in his
Quixotic quest for clarity

~Soulless Solace is so Less~

Ubiquity slowly swallows me
Enslaving my mind to conformity
Helplessly my eyes can see
Like some divine profanity
All the horrors and atrocities

Misery into the sea
As it slowly swallows me
Free to be, doomed to see
All of wasted eternity


I got my heart on my shoes
Feels like there's nothing to lose
I'm tripping over my feet
I got my eyes on the streets
Some say I'm losing my head
I may be better off dead
I'm stumblin' long so slow
I just don't know where to go
Still I'll be chasing those rays
Towards that bright neon day
Until that shock of first light
That's when I've conquered the night
Then where I go from there
You know, I'm sure I won't care
Cause I can honestly say
That I did things my way

~Sallow Faced Soul~

I feel I'm regaining a part of my humanity
Yet at the cost of my cold, cultured sanity
All those emotions that once ran so deep
Now capture my mind and start my body to weep
My soul disconnected from all that I see
Floats through the abyss careless and carefree

~Seven Sided Heart~

My heart has seven sides
Each for the million ways
I feel sadness

Each side bears its load
But one side bears more than the others
One side bears its burden alone

It knows its lot
It can see the other sides
It feels the loneliness
Of a life of solitude

Yet it never buckles
It never sways
With every quiet aching
It only grows stronger

It feels my sadness
Down to the sides
Of its own heart

Still it stands steady
Still it stands fast
And we ache together
In our chorus of despair

~Shiny New Lie~

There's no truth here
Just this newly painted lie
A brand new shiny coat
To confound your believing eyes
It'll make you think you're up
When up's farther than the shrillest cry
And still you'll go on loving it
Til the day you eventually die

~Soul Doubt~

Lost in a sea of despair
Alone in the desert of calamity
Crowded in by all my misgivings
Surrounded by regrets
Drowning in apathy
Smothered by indulgence
Cut off from humanity
Overexposed and underpaid
Emotionally exasperated
Drifting helplessly
Beyond my mind's eye
And I'm loving it

~Rigor Mortis of the Spirit~

Infinity ceaselessly tortures me
Like some cosmological banality
Toiling against its lashings
My soul's forever thrashing
Whilst I keep my world from crashing
    down upon
      the floor


Brought forth out of chaos' cosmic churning ire
10,000 years before the first glimpse of dawn
A starchild built of thoughts broiling fires
A creature of the timeless who continually lives on
Devourer of dreams, hopes and desires
The battle of his hunger can never be won
Grown fat from fears, whole planets he sires
Draining them of feeling til all life is gone

~Adrift on This Stony Spaceship~

Beat down future, there's no hope today
It's all a misadventure, I don't know what to say
  My life is in shambles
  My heart in pain
  My mind has been scrambled
  My soul is slain
So I sit here writing to keep myself sane
Between my dreams and my reality
It's all just an escape for me
A constant thriving tragedy
The only cure for my maladies
Heartbroken, I'm chokin' on those words left unspoken
Between you and me and the stars that we see
We're all retreating, fleeing ever distantly
When reaching out we find shelter inconsistently

~Upon Seeing Your Face~

You make me feel foolish
Well, I make me feel foolish
Because in your smile I see
The blessed hand of the divine
And in my mind I can't hope
To be worthy of such grace

~Filthy Cheap Sweat Parade~

Life is just a shallow hole
Left open to bury those forgotten souls
That tried to play but payed the toll
Dying alone out in the cold
Innocence and truth are bought and sold
To keep the rich from feeling old
And all the rest who lust for gold
Trample all existence to join their fold

~The Journey (a sonnet)~

The sky itself was sterling silver
My heart stood waiting, open to heaven
The morning breeze carried an icy shiver
The snow sat still ambitiously undriven
Glimpsing my fate and the road ahead
I steady my fears and pick up my feet
Crumpling the snow and with it my dread
This journey's my focus not what end I'll meet

For each of us must ordain our paths
Still treading ever gently
Though our hopes fade to the past
We cling to them reverently

So alas without solace I muster on
Til all of life's struggles have come and gone

~In My Room~

I'm at a loss for words cause I'm out of words for lost
Struck dumb and blind, can't speak my mind, my soul slowly rots
Then I find my hand playing cross six metal strings
Pluck them hard, stroke them gently, listen to them ring
This world don't offer much to make my spirit swell
Atleast I found a piece of sound to live in and to dwell
You like to play your records and I listen to them spinning
While I strum on these six strings just searching for some vision
Sunny shadows play across my bedroom wall
But I can't watch them sway or see your face at all

All poetry the original work of Scott Spence (aka cyan0sis)