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~untitled #3~ endowed by my creator with the ability to circumvent reason by means of blind faith, I employ these metaphysical blinders to focus only on what I wish to see as the rest of the world flashes by like so many unheeded road signs, my streamlined consciousness cuts through perception like a razor cropping the world of its unwanted gristle until all that remains exists in harmony with my chosen beliefs and I have vanquished all doubts through obfuscation and rhetoric ~untitled #2~ the redness of your lips stained my cigarette tips how quickly you lost interest impatient sighs at my tired jests with them went all my hopes of any passionate trystes ~untitled #1~ ensconced in voluptuous idolatry ravished by digressive idealogy torn between thought and conformity a persuasive illusion of unthinkable enormity culturing bad habits with a passion rolling up loose cigarettes by the ration questioning my will to survive while around me mediocrity thrives wondering if living fast and dying young can still be cool in your thirties ~suicide is painless~ the silent bliss of eternity's cold kiss so subtle in creation, pure poetry by design cleansing the soul of life's petty prejudice the ultimate neutralizer, balancing all over time ~city fog~ slinking, groping blindly across the pale face of midnight fading into the ambient air of the city sublimating, crawling leisurely along the stained, cracked concrete enfusing the senses with the noxious scent of sewage and grease oozing from every open vent, every sweating pore choking, grasping at the gasping lungs of the overheated and underappreciated ~mummbling minutia~ today's spontaneity tomorrow's misfortune next week's catastrophe all born of emotion juvenile and thoughtless my instincts as my guide I singlehandedly brought us to the end of our ride ~down with dawn~ a moment in the sun gleaming--glimmering thoughts of blissful fun beaming--blithering hand in hand we stand steaming--simmering love ours to command screaming--simpering I hate your stupid face dreaming--dithering with eyes so full of space seeming--slithering no confidence in your talk mummbling--murmuring the indifference in your walk stumbling--staggering yet truth lies in your thoughts dissembling--dissimulating ~haiku-fu~ every haiku needs seventeen syllables or else it is rubbish extenuating circumstances preclude all hope of survival ~as best us~ together we two rent the world asunder every vacant lie and shady disguise keeps ourselves from slipping under trust is an element mined from your eyes while lust is left simmering fanned by warm sighs *-+-=-+-*-+-=-+-*-+-=-+-*-+-=-+-*-+-=-+-* MATER OMNIPOTENS AETERNA DEUS BITCHES ~ANGST~ It starts like a bubble deep in my gut just noticable Beneath the surface and as it grows and swells I feel Drawn into its emptiness, it's so dark and silent Within; sometimes pain can feel good So I pick at it like a cavernous tooth Tonguing it, blindly exploring every millimeter of sadness Sometimes you can get lost in pain and as I quietly Relive all my [past] failures I entertain regret soaked daydreams Decisions and actions I would've changed It builds like a volcanoe in my soul Rising up from the ancient past to spew its emotinal lava All over the unsuspecting village of my consciousness ~Belief~ Slip-streamed consciousness scores deeply into the night All of heaven quakes at this unholy blinding light Mind nor matter, truth nor lie Just the essence of madness to the universe's eye ~Cosmic Kismet~ God's ghostly gleam Flickering across my Cell phone screen A collage of creativity and catastrophe A cacophony of cryptic chronologies Coordinating, collaborating, convalescing to coincide with Creation's cosmic kismet ~Eclipsed By My Own Shadow~ Modern day nightmares of endless commerced conformity Drift through the populous leaving in their wake hollow dreams Too easily shattered by the fierce gale of reality Superficiality, a frothing mouthed race for imortality Anything to take away the pain while our fate's remain unchanged By our domestic fears, our selfish tears fall to the ground While life moves on indifferently; when running from real pain We find smaller crosses to bare if only to distract ourselves While we sink deeper into despair ~Eelectric Jeezus~ Feed me some more of that eelectric jeezus I luv the ways its messianic rays Crack and sizle down my spinal cord Jerkingly jumped up on jeezus I spend my days holier than thou Feverishly feeling that Christian Tao Band together mankind's brethren Twitchingly itching for another suckle Of our saviour's sap ~Emerald Girl~ Oh emerald girl you contain my world Subsisting, existing beneath those iridescent eyes of pearl Your galaxy devours me, and then in a moment of your slightest glee Out of the tiniest bits of stardust you recreate me Your joy is my sunshine, cast effortlessly Cross an incomprehensible void to shine down upon And warm me Oh emerald girl in the darkness of my world The passions of your crystalline fire are All I taste of hope and all I know of desire So I carry on living in praise of thee That distant shining glimmer only I can see Illuminating my nights, shadowing my plights Oh emerald girl how far is your world? And how can I make you mine? ~Devotedly Emoting to You~ Look into my eyes and see All that you despised and be Hopelessly deprived of glee Knowing you gave up on me Never thought of what you lost Never thought of any cost Lives may break but words can heal As long you're on to that next big deal It's all up to you to see what's real Like life, like love, or can't you feel? ~Emotional Luminescence~ Semi-liquid emotional luinescence subtly seeps through the fabric of my soul This osmotic transgression fires my mind with dreamy shadows of you My morning sun, sweetest one whose heavenly rays, can barely betray the lightness of your being and the strength of your art The indifference of your character the indolence of your gaze ignites the fury of my passion and brandishes my love ~Faith~ Faith for a nickle, wisdom for a dime Come on lets get some common sense Take a number, get in line ~Red-haired Girl on the Subway~ You close your eyes and drift into your own world The music scintillates down your spine Tickling, trickling its way down And your body grooves in time with the rhythm Slowly egging it on as your face becomes flush I see you sitting there living in your world I peer in through the window of space and distance You in your world, I in mine Yet for a moment I know how you're feeling Because I've felt the same ~Grain of Happiness~ Somewhere between my Mind and oblivion there Exists a world where I hold happiness in my palm And glance at it as if it Were a grain of sand A tiny precious jewel carved By the waves over millions Of years from some fossilized Coral or other sea life ~Hard Hearted Howlings of a Hollow-Headed Hooligan~ Intransigent transients a sidewalked human landscape Sprawling and stumbling as far as the eye can see Emoting and intoning the same constant bellowing plea "Got any change?!" As I jingle on by with the remains of my living Dancing in my pockets Hell yes I've got change but still it remains The more change that I give the more you stay the same And I can't fight this thought rattlin round in my brain We could all use some change, some real change today What I mean to say be it a bit risque Is that our lives run in circles, going nowhere all the way Yet I've never given up, never called it a day I've been beaten, I've been bruised I've been neglected, and I've been used I've been forgoten, I've been ignored I've been left rotten, I've been left cored I've hit rock bottom, I got back up So you really need some change? Well who gives a fuck? ~Hope~ Hope itself is that fatal hook Suffering just the line By which we're dancing to and fro Mere puppets of the divine ~I feel you sitting there~ Stripped of my reason I make my way in the dark With only emotion as my guide The walls are a deep melancholy The floors a pale discomfort The stars a brilliant tWiNkLiNg sense of awe And your eyes the glowing warmth Of beauty and love ~Johnny~ Standing here where you once stood Ages away and yet so close I think I know, I think I could See the life you lead and how you chose Though time and space keep us apart We stand astride heart by heart ~Libidinous Emotionality~ A heavy headed heart beats slowly to itself Shuffling along the empty corridors and dark corners Of its grey world it mummbles grumblings of lost love, Empty Silence and vaccuous endings It trods an ever eroding path of self-pity into the floor ~Love's Pilgrim~ I've travelled from disgust to mitrust In the distance those towering spires of lust From there to here all we couldn't say but must Some how it all feels so self-righteously unjust This ebb and flow of relations between us Keeps on eroding my soul, grinding my heart to dust ~Massage My Mind~ Can you fuel the fires of fatalistic decay? Engulf your mind in the true mankind Feel the fever, focus on the noise Drift away in the currents of your own sublime choice Electromagnetic emotional semi-kinetic luminescence provoking all Still all this is better than paying attention Tune in, tune out, -- wax on, wax off ~Misbegotten Son~ Reality, truth's one misbegotten son Struggles to define itself and Find itself; its place in this world From every altered perspective He is born anew Yet perception only offers A distorted view So he feels cheated in his Quixotic quest for clarity ~Soulless Solace is so Less~ Ubiquity slowly swallows me Enslaving my mind to conformity Helplessly my eyes can see Like some divine profanity All the horrors and atrocities Misery into the sea As it slowly swallows me Free to be, doomed to see All of wasted eternity ~Paraskevidekatriaphobia~ I got my heart on my shoes Feels like there's nothing to lose I'm tripping over my feet I got my eyes on the streets Some say I'm losing my head I may be better off dead I'm stumblin' long so slow I just don't know where to go Still I'll be chasing those rays Towards that bright neon day Until that shock of first light That's when I've conquered the night Then where I go from there You know, I'm sure I won't care Cause I can honestly say That I did things my way ~Sallow Faced Soul~ I feel I'm regaining a part of my humanity Yet at the cost of my cold, cultured sanity All those emotions that once ran so deep Now capture my mind and start my body to weep My soul disconnected from all that I see Floats through the abyss careless and carefree ~Seven Sided Heart~ My heart has seven sides Each for the million ways I feel sadness Each side bears its load But one side bears more than the others One side bears its burden alone It knows its lot It can see the other sides It feels the loneliness Of a life of solitude Yet it never buckles It never sways With every quiet aching It only grows stronger It feels my sadness Down to the sides Of its own heart Still it stands steady Still it stands fast And we ache together In our chorus of despair ~Shiny New Lie~ There's no truth here Just this newly painted lie A brand new shiny coat To confound your believing eyes It'll make you think you're up When up's farther than the shrillest cry And still you'll go on loving it Til the day you eventually die ~Soul Doubt~ Lost in a sea of despair Alone in the desert of calamity Crowded in by all my misgivings Surrounded by regrets Drowning in apathy Smothered by indulgence Cut off from humanity Overexposed and underpaid Emotionally exasperated Drifting helplessly Beyond my mind's eye And I'm loving it ~Rigor Mortis of the Spirit~ Infinity ceaselessly tortures me Like some cosmological banality Toiling against its lashings My soul's forever thrashing Whilst I keep my world from crashing Crashing down upon the floor ~Starchild~ Brought forth out of chaos' cosmic churning ire 10,000 years before the first glimpse of dawn A starchild built of thoughts broiling fires A creature of the timeless who continually lives on Devourer of dreams, hopes and desires The battle of his hunger can never be won Grown fat from fears, whole planets he sires Draining them of feeling til all life is gone ~Adrift on This Stony Spaceship~ Beat down future, there's no hope today It's all a misadventure, I don't know what to say My life is in shambles My heart in pain My mind has been scrambled My soul is slain So I sit here writing to keep myself sane Between my dreams and my reality It's all just an escape for me A constant thriving tragedy The only cure for my maladies Heartbroken, I'm chokin' on those words left unspoken Between you and me and the stars that we see We're all retreating, fleeing ever distantly When reaching out we find shelter inconsistently ~Upon Seeing Your Face~ You make me feel foolish Well, I make me feel foolish Because in your smile I see The blessed hand of the divine And in my mind I can't hope To be worthy of such grace ~Filthy Cheap Sweat Parade~ Life is just a shallow hole Left open to bury those forgotten souls That tried to play but payed the toll Dying alone out in the cold Innocence and truth are bought and sold To keep the rich from feeling old And all the rest who lust for gold Trample all existence to join their fold ~The Journey (a sonnet)~ The sky itself was sterling silver My heart stood waiting, open to heaven The morning breeze carried an icy shiver The snow sat still ambitiously undriven Glimpsing my fate and the road ahead I steady my fears and pick up my feet Crumpling the snow and with it my dread This journey's my focus not what end I'll meet For each of us must ordain our paths Still treading ever gently Though our hopes fade to the past We cling to them reverently So alas without solace I muster on Til all of life's struggles have come and gone ~In My Room~ I'm at a loss for words cause I'm out of words for lost Struck dumb and blind, can't speak my mind, my soul slowly rots Then I find my hand playing cross six metal strings Pluck them hard, stroke them gently, listen to them ring This world don't offer much to make my spirit swell Atleast I found a piece of sound to live in and to dwell You like to play your records and I listen to them spinning While I strum on these six strings just searching for some vision Sunny shadows play across my bedroom wall But I can't watch them sway or see your face at all All poetry the original work of Scott Spence (aka cyan0sis) |
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